Fathers and Surrogate Son-Daughters

I've just finished "Fun Home" by Allison Bechdel. It made me angry. Or her father did. What would his life had been if he had just accepted himself? I am sure this thought haunts the author as well. I believe he loved his wife at one point. I believe he was in love with her, but I think that he would have been contented if he had only accepted his homosexuality. Would he have still trolled young men? Would he have been a more benevolent father? Would he have been a more loving husband? Would her mother have found love?
It reminds me of my father. Had my father not cheated on the personality test, what would he have trained for? What would he have done with his life? What if he'd continued trying to sell his work? Would have been successful? If he hadn't, would I have resented him for making our family struggle? Would he have been happy? Would he have been a more benevolent father, a loving husband?
And that is what angers me. Both men had a pursuit of normality. Normality being a family, a wife, a good job, lots of money, respectively. I imagine if both men had not been so concerned with "normality" they would have been happier, with more fulfilling lives, and that would have been passed on to their children.
That also begs to question, who would I be if my father had been happy?